the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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