There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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