I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
