I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
