Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My pussy is not your playground.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
