Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
