I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
