i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
