This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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