Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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