Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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