Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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