I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
