Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
