the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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