everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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