we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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