I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
