ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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