Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
