so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
In America we eat man semen.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
