so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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