i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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