he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
