Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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