that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
