Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
