It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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