She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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