I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
