she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
