WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
