I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
