operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
