think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
