When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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