Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
