At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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