I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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