Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
