honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
