I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
