i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
