party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Maybe he injected his testicle?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
