Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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