yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
