sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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