Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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