So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
