bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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