Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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