it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
