i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
