it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
