If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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