trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
