operation harelip BJ is a go
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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