yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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