we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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