who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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