My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
